alone time

HI THERE, so todayyyyy I am here to talk about being alone. No, not in a sad or depressing way, I'm talking about physically just being by yourself. Honestly, I'm someone who is still getting used to accepting that I need to have "alone time".

I am always constantly wanting to be around people, I don't even care who it is or what we are doing, it's just having the presence of someone else. I could be going to the grocery store, or eating in the kitchen, or going to pick something up and I will always ask someone to come with me. Literally just ask my roommates, they probably think I have separation anxiety. ANYWAYS

I've come to realize that being alone isn't so bad. Though I did make this realization while having no other option than to BE alone, it worked! Yes, I will still always choose to go out and be with people rather than being by myself (so if I say no to you, that's really sayin somethin) hahahah I'm kidding. kinda.

Ever since I have moved out, I've felt like I have to be keeping busy and doing something every second to distract myself from... who knows what... my brain? You know what I mean. Sometimes being alone with your own thoughts is ~scary~ that's why I ~choose not to~

butttt sometimes you just gotta do it. I've gone through some hard times and had to deal with a lot of emotions in the last couple of months with moving out so it was honestly scary to truly take time to feel those feelings.

okay pause.

let's talk about what I just said. I have heard from so many different people how important it is to feel your feelings !!! you're probably like "duh", but I'm serious. Like I said earlier, I always try to distract myself if I'm feeling an emotion I don't want to accept. Honest truth is, that distraction only lasts so long and it won't make the initial feeling go away, you are just saving it for later. If you just take a little bit of time to self reflect on how you actually feel in that moment, you will begin to understand yourself more and overcome that negative emotion faster.

Bottom line is-

if you are sad about something, cry. (you can cry with me because I do that a little too often)

if you are mad... scream, yell, punch a whole in your wall! (teenage boys love that one)

if you feel happy, smile! dance! laugh!

if you feel full of love, tell someone you love

them, or go make someone's day.

Now here is the part where I completely contradict myself HAHA

Yes, I did just get done saying how important it is to not mask your feelings BUT if you find yourself getting a little..... too sad a little.... too often..... THERE ARE WAYS TO PREVENT IT BY STILL BEING ALONE !!! Never thought I would say that and actually believe it. You need to be able to believe that you can find peace within yourself so you aren't so dependent on other people to make you feel better. Okay that one hurt a little to say because I'm still trying to learn that too.

What I'm trying to say is, yesterday, I wasn't having the greatest day. Happens. I was on my phone for a while and I was just feeling off. Soooo what did I do? I had a dance party. My FAVORITE and most AFFECTIVE form of therapy. I was all by lonesome, I dressed up, opened my blinds for the world to see, grabbed my hairbrush and started the show. We started with some Brittany Spears, then to Miley Cyrus, switched over to some Lady Gaga, and Harry Styles of course, then finished off with some Adele for those chiller vibes to end the night. Let me tell you, it made my day so much better. It felt like it was my world and I was the only one living in it.

The point is, there is nothing wrong with a pick-me-up when you are feeling sad or even just a little bit off. Whether it's a dance party, cooking your favorite meal, singing in the shower, or rollerblading by yourself (hehe), just find something you like to do and DO IT. Don't feel like there is nothing you can do to change it. Stop scrolling through Tik Tok, stop eating everything you can find in the kitchen, and don't take that nap. Go do something about it!

This brings me to my final thought. If you are alone, or bored, or don't know what to do...

TAKE YOURSELF ON A DATE

When there are days when I know I am going to be alone, I like to plan my day out in advance. Which is sometimes great because it gets me excited, but it's also fun to do things in the spur of the moment. For instance, I was dreading today because I knew both of my roommates had other things going on, and I was trying my hardest not to go home this weekend like I have been doing ever since I moved in. (and I accomplished that, please be proud of me). So I decided I wanted to go on a drive because the weather today made me happy. I put on my favorite sweater, my new puffy coat, my socks & sandals, and I was off! I had a destination but we all know I'm not very good with directions so I did indeed get lost. After a while of driving I came across this beautiful view. I parked my car, hiked a little bit, and just switched back and forth from looking at the mountains, and then the overlook in the freezing cold. As I came across multiple people, I almost felt like I could read their minds. "Who is this girl and why did I just watch her take a bunch of self timer pictures then proceed to hike the mountain in socks & sandals." but I didn't care!! It was just what I needed. Then I went to this cute coffee shop in downtown Provo and treated myself to a cup of coffee that had edible glitter... like hello? I had to.

aaaand now I am sitting here against the window watching the snow wondering how I can write about this for hours on end and not even bring myself to begin an essay.

Sooooo the whole point I am trying to make here is alone time is healing, peaceful, and so so so important. Try to make time for yourself even when you could be doing something else with someone else. Just listen to what your mind and body need.

*hippie bailey has left the chat*

Here are some pics of me enjoying my time alone ;)