Everything girl

Trying to break the pattern of branding

In today's day and age, we are so obsessed with the idea of having an aesthetic or “branding” ourselves. I’ve fallen victim to this and as a matter of fact, STILL trying to break away from it. Our idea of aesthetic isn’t really how we see ourselves, it’s more how we want others to see us. You’ve probably heard of the trending ones; granola girl, cottage core, minimalist, maximalist, etc. There are so many categories, but to me, it's all a big scam.

What is an aesthetic?

Well, It's pretty much the theme of your lifestyle. The way you decide to go about your every day. What you eat, how you dress, what your social media looks like, and the things you buy/recommend to others. It’s actually an amazing marketing strategy that almost everyone has to consider nowadays. People who are attracted to your aesthetic, are more likely to trust you. So instead of being their true authentic self, people have decided to stick to a theme so that they can try and engage a certain audience. That’s exactly the reason that influencers have become an actual career. It’s a tried and true tactic.

Now listen, I’ve tried to give myself an aesthetic. We all have. We are so caught up in wanting to be liked and appreciated by others that we are starting to lose touch with the things we actually like.

To give a more specific example, I’ve always been someone who loved to wear different and sometimes unusual outfits. I have a super fun earring collection, I like dying my hair, and painting my nails different colors. When I moved into my current house, I went through a phase where I wanted everything to be bright and colorful, and random. I wanted everything to go together while also looking like absolute chaos because that was my style in that season of my life. I remember thinking to myself "Hmmm maybe I am a maximalist at heart." I was trying to give myself a label. Suddenly, it was getting colder, and cozier, and I was starting to change my mind about the look of my room as it didn't seem to fit the "vibe". I was scrolling through TikToks of people showing their simple and minimalist-looking rooms. The all-white, dim lighting, and a clean, calm space. I wanted not only my space to look like that, I wanted to BE like the people whose space looked like that. I tried to "rebrand" myself. Which was such a horrible habit of mine. I thought to myself, "Well, these people LOOK calm and collected, I want to BE calm and collected, and I wanted people to SEE me as calm and collected. So I started over. I started only wearing gold earrings, always wearing neutral colors, I took down all the decorations in my room and replaced them with nothing; because being simple was my new thing. It got exhausting. I was giving myself a brand to stick to, so anything that didn’t fit inside my “aesthetic”, I felt like couldn’t do. It seems so silly to admit that I was limiting my clothing options, my activities, and my life all for a label. I was giving myself an expectation, forgetting that nobody actually cares what I do, or what I wear, or how I decided to show up every day. I had to realize nobody was keeping tabs on me, and that I didn't HAVE to live up to anything.

I remember being in a work meeting one day and the topic of branding came up. We were encouraged to make our own personal brand unique and recognizable. A few people I work with are really good at this. One of my coworkers is always known to have the coolest shoe collection, it's something that people recognize about her, and it makes her easy to point out and easy to remember. Another coworker of mine is always wearing a suit jacket, that's his "thing". The thing that sets you aside from the rest of the crowd. Obviously, this sense of branding works for a lot of people, and businesses, which is great! Always do what works for you. And if you find that everything about you does line up with a certain aesthetic, honestly, I'm a little jealous.

Something I have always had a hard time with is making up my mind. So why I thought I would be able to stick to one aesthetic? No idea. It’s not me! I was not made to limit myself to one thing. Up to this point in my life, I have seen that as one of my biggest weaknesses. I dream big, but I have a hard time following through. I've actually made it a habit to start telling people my goals, ideas, hopes, and dreams just so I can start holding myself accountable. Instead, it did the exact opposite for me. My mindset went from "I'm so excited about this new interest of mine, I can't wait to see where this takes me." to "Okay well, I accidentally told everyone about this, so now I HAVE to do it." This became hard for me because when the time came that I got too overwhelmed and didn't want to do it anymore, everyone I told might see me as a quitter or a failure.

I give this example because most of the time, we see change as a negative concept. Change can put you back at square one sometimes, which is a scary thought. I change my mind all the time! I changed my major 3 times in one year before deciding to drop out. Last week I wanted to start a clothing brand and this week I want to be a certified yoga teacher. I'll order from the menu at a drive-thru and by the time I'm at the window, I've already decided I want something else. Not being able to make up my mind is still one of my biggest struggles, but I’ve now decided to turn it into something I can work with, something kind of like a brand... but actually the exact opposite.

I am an "Everything girl". My new aesthetic. My OWN aesthetic. There are no rules! I can be a country-loving cowgirl who likes to go camping, get dirty, and spend time outside and the next day I could decide to dress like the girliest girl you’ve ever seen, wearing bows and heels, listening to love songs, and baking some sweet treats. I am allowed to change my mind, I am allowed to show up as a new person every day, and I am allowed to enjoy things that have nothing to do with each other. I’ve always been an everything girl. Just take a look at my closet or scroll through my saved songs! You couldn’t give me a realistic aesthetic even if you tried.

Being an "Everything girl" is what makes my life so exciting. I already have plenty of ideas of who I want to be, and how I want my life to unfold, so I know I’ll be happy with the way it does! How could I possibly be disappointed when I’ve already decided I want to experience everything?

Sometimes I see myself being a writer who lives a quiet life in the mountains. Not spending money on materialistic things, who’s wise and patient, and successful.

Sometimes I see myself living near the ocean, swimming at sunrise, and living a relaxed and slow life in the sun. Eating holistically and healthily, being a yoga instructor, and dedicating my life to teaching others.

On other days I see myself as a Mother. My life, my job, my purpose. I see myself raising the most beautiful and magical beings and spending every second I can with them, in a big house and friendly neighborhood.

At times I see myself in the public eye, a dancer, an author, a business leader, successful and put together. Busy, in a good way. Creative and motivated.

I see a life where I travel from place to place, learning about different cultures and practices, having endless stories to tell, learning new languages, connecting with people, and seeking adventure and excitement.

These are all secretly characters that live inside me, and more are created every day! I am always changing, and growing, and learning. Each of these scenarios, personalities, careers, and destinations are all something I secretly yearn for in my time on earth. I want to experience all of it and more. I'll be damned if the day ever comes that I do suddenly make up my mind.

I decided I wanted to write this post because I feel like so many others can fall into this new "aesthetic". It's hard for me to believe that there are people out there who can truly say they only fall into one specific category. Having an aesthetic is just another thing that divides us as humans. There are so many amazing things about this life to enjoy, don't limit yourself by trying to fit into a certain brand. It's not worth it to live life looking at ourselves through others' eyes. Most of the time, that is what having an aesthetic is doing, and once everyone realizes that, nobody will care nearly as much about how you decide to show up every day.

We go through our whole lives putting labels and titles on everything, so why should we add one that defines us for our entire life? We are defined by what generation we're in, our relationship status, and our job title, labels are scary! I mean just ask any of my past "situationships". If you have ever been indecisive about anything, I hope you know where I'm coming from.

I don't want to sound hypocritical here, so I will admit that I go through phases of trying to rebrand myself. In all honesty, this could be one of those times. Though if it is just another silly character in me that wants to be different from everyone else, it's never felt more right in this moment! I wouldn't be surprised if this wasn't my final big self-realization. In fact, it most likely won't be, but it's who I am right now in this season of my life.

To put this post into fewer words,

I am an "Everything Girl"

I want to be everything, I want to do everything, and I want to live my life with no rules or expectations. I am Bailey Poelman and that is enough of a brand for me.

I guess this is kind of an introduction to my new and (still improving) blog. Writing is what I do best, and with being the busiest I've ever been, I've found it to be something I enjoy, and something I am willing to make time for. I understand that making "everything" my thing is probably overwhelming for some. There is no theme to me, or to this blog. I'm not a travel blogger, or a health specialist, or a life coach, and I'm not certified in anything. I don't have any real credibility to be writing about the things I do. I am not a professional in any way shape or form. I am just a girl, figuring it out, giving advice, sharing experiences, and hoping that my words have an impact on whomever they come across.

So if you're up for the rollercoaster ride that this blog might become, I'm happy to have you here.