Feelings on Feelings

Why being an empath is the best and worst thing to ever happen to me

Hi, it's me. The girl who takes on other peoples emotions as her own. It's an involuntary hobby of mine. I've been in this field for a while now, but just now realizing there was a word for it. It's called being and empath.

For those of you who are lucky enough to not understand what this means, It's when you are so intensely involved with other peoples emotions, that you start feeling them yourself. And as miss Kim K would say:

"it's a full time job, and it's extremely time consuming, and it's not as easy as it may appear to some people."

Now of course, she was talking about having a reality TV show, and I'm talking about not only having your own emotions to deal with, but everyone else's that you care about, stacked on top. Both are challenging in different ways I guess... hehe

A simple google search would tell you the characteristics of someone who is overly empathetic would be: someone who has a strong intuition, is easily overwhelmed, is highly sensitive....and... what was that last one? Oh yeah! Being super cool & awesome.

But in all seriousness, I've always been someone who gets hurt easily and sometimes takes things too personal. One of the cool things about becoming more aware of peoples emotions is being able to understand why people act the way they do. Which is teaching me NOT to take things so personal. It will definitely take some time considering I've spent my whole life holding back tears any time anyone even slightly raises their voice at me, but I'm ready for the challenge.

My mom always gets on me for being so forgiving towards people who haven't been the best towards me. Rightfully so. I admit, I could be better about that. But once you realize everyone is fighting their own battles and most of the time, they are reflecting how they feel about themselves on you, it's a lot easier to forgive.

Just gonna pause real quick to remind everyone that this blog is a mix of me giving advice/ still trying to take my own. And that's exactly one of those moments up there^^^^

I do have some conflicting feelings about this whole thing. I always thought I was pretty good at giving advice, and maybe at some point, I was. Now, when I'm presented with a situation where someone is feeling lost and/or needs guidance, I feel as though I can't help them. I put myself so far into their shoes, that I too, start to become uncertain of what to do. Dramatic, I know. It's almost like there's a sweet spot. To be just the right amount of understanding without going overboard.

Something else I've learned is that it takes an empath to know one. I've noticed it's pretty rare, and I can only think of one other person I know, who is. Being friends with someone who thinks the same way is the coolest thing. Simply because it's so challenging to explain to others why we think this way. It's comforting, in a sense.

A little side-tracked thought here. I have slowly started to be more careful about who to go to when I am feeling a certain type of way. Not that everyone is going to feel for me the way I do for others, but it's both heartbreaking and heartwarming to know that someone might stress over my feelings for even a second. I'm careful because I never want someone to go as far as to trouble themselves with something I could have controlled by simply not telling them in the first place.

(There are so many sides to understanding how my brain works in this aspect so I apologize)

This ALSO becomes a stressor when all I do is live my life thinking about other peoples feelings. There have been plenty of times where I find myself hesitant to make a decision based on how other people will feel because of it. It's a major set-back for me and something I've been trying to work on. That's what I get for being a people pleaser. Luckily, I have several people in my life who constantly remind me that it's okay to do things for myself.

Don't get me wrong, being an empath is great when it comes to happy things! It will forever be my excuse as to why I cry at weddings. It's almost like a reward after having to carry the weight of the unwanted emotions. So there is a good side to it! Being an empath is the reason I get all teary eyed when I watch military homecoming videos, or watch someone receive a thoughtful gift, or witness someone performing an act of kindness, or being there when someone gets good news. I get to celebrate with people when something good happens because I am GENUINELY so so happy for them.

Now you see why living this way can be a beautiful and dangerous thing all at once. I've learned to love this about myself as I continue to grow and learn from it.

Anyways, if you've made it this far and realize these things might apply to you to, welcome to the club. If not, I hope you have a better understanding of the meaning behind the title, empath.