The lives I could have lived

(Time is a thief)

I’ve never been one to grow tired of vacations. I have a pretty good life but that doesn’t stop me from daydreaming about what it would be like to be anywhere but here.

Maybe it’s because theres always an expiration. To the fun, to the break, to the escape. You know when it’s going to end before it even begins. So worried you haven’t soaked up every last bit of relaxation and experience that the thought alone makes time go faster.

I dream of a vacation lasting until it feels right to leave, though I wonder if most may never return.

The place we are brought up in is chosen for us, but I can’t help but think of how many other possible places can be meant for one person.

I’ve always wondered if people were ever meant for certain lives. Kind of like how people say they were born in the wrong time period. Deep down something draws people to that time or place. A past life, a gut feeling, call it what it means to you.

My hair and skin are so dry, I wonder if I’d thrive somewhere humid, maybe tropical. My bad circulation suggests a warmer climate would be more enjoyable. My physical needs sometimes contradict my wants of course, like the part of me that also loves snow in the winter.

People use the term “Home away from home” when referring to somewhere they are just as comfortable and happy. Almost as if their away home is where they should be rather than where they are.

Visiting Michigan every now and again makes me picture a life where I didn’t move away. Spending time in Montana makes me wish I grew up in a less judgmental environment. Being anywhere with a beach makes me surrender the stresses of my life back home. I almost wonder if any of these were my permanent places, I’d feel otherwise. It’s easy to glorify what we don’t have.

Though I am a firm believer of everything happens for a reason, it’s hard for my mind not to fantasize about the different versions of me that ended up in the places I secretly desire. Would those versions of me be happier? Have more friends? Follow a completely different life path?

All questions not worth stressing over of course.

I love to travel, I’m easily amused and amazed. Though being in Europe made me realize I’m not a travel(er). Bouncing around trying to see and do everything all at once, again, makes that the main worry.

Where is my happy medium!!!

Getting to spend as much or as little time in one place, and leaving when necessary. (Or not! Maybe it will never be necessary! Maybe it’s a place you were meant to be all along!)

BUT

I love having a place to call home. A safe place, a fallback place, a place where everyone I love is under an hour away. See my predicament here?

As beautiful of a place I live in, it’s easy for me to become bored with my current situation; which explains why once I get a break, I dread going back to my reality. All normal feelings of course.

There is so much to explore and experience on this earth. So many different cultures, people, views, adventures, animals, food, environments. So many things to learn, to do, to see.

And so little time.

Time that’s spent working to be able to experience half of what we wish we could, and only living the life we were given. What an infuriating cycle.